The Reality of Not Being Valued and Dealing with the Feeling of Not Being Valued

  • Author: Praise Ejiro

  • Last Update On: 14-Mar-2023 01:09:06am

  • Category: Family & Relationship, Relationship

  • Topic: Advice, Parenting, Self Help

The Reality of Not Being Valued and Dealing with the Feeling of Not Being Valued

Everyone wants to be valued and also feel/have a sense of belonging. What individuals see as value varies and how they want you to show these values also varies. Before we go into all that, let’s talk about what Value really is.

Value is a concept that is based on what a person holds as important and meaningful in life. It's about having principles, a purpose and a mission in life, and using that as the foundation for all decisions, actions, and behaviors. It is more than just material objects; it's about finding fulfillment, having an appreciation of life, and feeling a sense of belonging. Value is the belief that we can achieve our highest potential by understanding and recognizing our worth.

In our day-to-day relationship with our friends, families, spouses and loved ones, we often show the level of our value for them either consciously or not and trust me, anyone can tell when you value them or not based on their perception of what value is to them.

For instance, in Marriage, a woman can complain that her husband doesn't value her if she is not getting the attention she needs from her husband. Attention is valuable to her. 

Another woman can complain that her husband doesn't give her gifts. Receiving gifts is valuable to her. A woman feels valued in a relationship when her partner pays attention to her feelings and communicates openly with her. They make time for one another and spend quality time together doing things that bring them joy. When her partner acknowledges her needs and makes an effort to provide comfort and support, it shows that she is truly valued. Moreover, small gestures like compliments, expressing appreciation for all the effort she puts into the relationship, and even little surprises to make her smile demonstrate how important she is. A woman knows she is valued when her partner sees her for who she is and shows that he is there to celebrate her successes and help her through her struggles. Often times, it hurts when someone feels that they are not valued. But does that mean that if one feels that they are not valued, they won't value you in return?

If one isn't valued, it can often lead to a sense of emptiness and isolation. It's difficult to invest your energy in someone who doesn't appreciate it or give anything back. It can be hard to form a meaningful connection without any value placed on both sides. Everyone needs to be valued, in some way or another, to foster healthy and loving relationships. That doesn't necessarily mean having to be equal in value or expecting something in return. However, if you are able to value someone who doesn't seem to value you, you can benefit from the insight that comes from observing someone from a different perspective. Seeing how others behave and what drives them can provide a new understanding of how people interact. Also, it can give your insight into how you interact with people, enabling you to become a better-rounded person and be better able to empathize with others.

How do you deal with the feeling of not being valued?

Dealing with the feeling of not being valued can be difficult. It’s natural to feel overwhelmed and uncertain, but with a few strategies, you can find ways to manage those feelings.

Start by exploring what's causing these feelings. Identifying the source of your feelings can help you find effective solutions. Ask yourself, "Am I really not being valued, or do I just feel this way because I am in a difficult situation?"

When you feel you aren't being valued, focus on self-care and look for validation from sources other than the situation or person in question. Find activities or people who make you feel appreciated, such as doing something that makes you happy or having conversations with people who truly listen to you.

Reframe how you think about yourself. Negative thoughts can make it harder to feel confident and valuable, so challenge these thoughts by writing down something positive about yourself each day. Find your value within yourself, instead of depending on outside sources.

Finally, let go of what isn't serving you. Move on from situations that don't recognize your worth and focus your energy on finding and creating opportunities that will truly appreciate your talents and abilities. When you actively search for sources of validation, you can feel empowered to find an environment that allows you to thrive.


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Praise Ejiro

Praise Ejiro


Script writer, copywriter, relationship coach.

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